Le Sigh

I went out with some friends for lunch yesterday.

To a bakery.

I bought a bunch of things and ate little bites out of them.
3 different types of brownies, a cinnamon bun and a honey cake.

I ate more little bites after dinner last night.

I went to bed and suddenly realized what I had done.

I got out of bed and threw out the box.

I'm So Anal I Need to Plan More...

So when I quit my job, I made a plan to find a new one.
I had outlines and tasks and goals.
I followed them religiously - because I have to make money to live right?

So apparently what I need to do for this is along the same lines- make a plan.

So my dears- here is what I intend to do:

1. I am considering this: http://www.weightwatchers.ca/index.aspx
It's Weight watchers online. No meetings or crap like that. Just some guidelines for me to follow.

2. I am looking for a dance class and/or pool to go and do laps. I hate the gym. I've joined and quit many times before. But I would cheerfully swim laps for hours. I have to enjoy myself in order to do anything.

3. My Carmen Electra DVD? Yeah, Carmen annoys me - so I ignore it. But I am trying like hell to walk more. And I successfully managed to get past going out and getting Dairy Queen today. Go me!

I think once I have a more concrete plan set out in my mind- other than "yeah, I should do healthier things" in a vague way will generate maybe a few more positive results.

Love you!
xoxo

Dealing with chocolate...

I can't not eat chocolate. If I have it in the cupboard, I can't stop at a few pieces. And if I don't have it in the cupboard, I'll go out and buy a few bars and eat them in one go. So I've devised a few ways to combat this.

1) I buy dark chocolate. I find I eat it when I want chocolate flavour, rather than when I want a sugar fix, so its easier to stop. It has similar (slightly less) calories to regular chocolate, but smaller amounts are just as satisfying.

2) If I do happen to buy milk chocolate, I break it up into portions, and freeze the whole bloody lot! Its easier to resist the temptation when you have to wait 5 minutes to get your fix.

stalled....

I made it to the gym Monday.
Had my first go at the programme my PT wrote me.
and then Tuesday arvo came around, my glands swelled up, my throat got all scratchy and I went home via the gym to cancel the PT session Wed morning coz I felt like shite.
Doctor's appointment Friday arvo and I apparently picked up a cold/flu virus somewhere (gosh.. gee whiz where could that have been from?) and am supposed to rest and recuperate... right. So I'll leave off going back until this coming Wednesday when I have anther PT session due.

Wank bugger damn shit crap darn it.

So I have no idea on how much I weigh besides too much... I'm feeling somewhat miffed at myself and at my immune system.

I promise, Phish, that I will come up with something brilliant and inspiring to post as soon as I can.

argh!

*MissE goes of to pound her head on the wall for a while... and feed the cat before he eats her ankles in protest*

Happiness is...

92.0kg

Fuck! Wank! Bugger! Shitting! Arse! Head and hole...

Weight gain. Again. Boo.

94.2kg

Bad week

So I went to the gym Monday.
I did a bit of walking to warm up and then did my weights (added in the bicep curl machine for variety) and finished with some cross trainer.
Ended up rather dizzy and light headed so went and sat down for a while before doing my stretches.

And then I weighed myself.

Talk about a downer... and I don't mean my weight. That was not down at all. That was up 5 fracking kilos is what that was.

I was soooo utterly depressed by those stupid numbers.
And part of me wanted to disappear into the nearest junk food supply and chow down until the year ends.
A completely irrational and stupid response, I know. And one I didn't end up indulging.

But it kinda knocked the wind outta my sails, so to speak. And last week was a bad one - I didn't get to the gym at all after Wednesday. And I ate more than I should have. ARGH! I'm fighting major stresser-triggers for emotional eating at the moment. Stupid work. Stupid uni. But... gym tomorrow. PT with the little blonde nazi... I'll tell her and she'll get me moving.

And my arms really hurt - the muscles on the inside bend of my elbows... talk about OW!

So I bit the bullet and weighed myself this week. 93.8. Not too bad I guess. Considering last weigh in was early in the morning without eating, and this one was after a full day.

So I've had a really big last few days. Not going to weigh myself this week. Though I feel kinda gross for eating so crappily.

Gymventures

I didn't want to go to the gym tonight. I felt like being all lazy. So I made dinner (nommy low fat pizza, I'll share the recipe later this week) and settled in to watch tv.

Only to get restless about 7:30. I couldn't sit still. Gym has become part of my routine and its hard to break, especailly to do nothing. So I went. And I'm glad I did.

I've just gotten back, 1 1/2 hour later. 45 mins cardio, plus weights. I keep a training schedule where I record what I've done in a work out, to monitor progress. I decided to fill mine out tonight.

• Cardio workouts are getting longer, levels staying about the same. Except for treadmill, where I'm walking at .8k faster than I was two weeks ago. But pretty much all of them are 'going further' (even though I'm not actually going anywhere) than they were.
• I'm also in the process of increasing weights. So I'm doing one set of 15 reps at level 5, and then dropping back to level 4 for my remaining two sets.

On the 'I need a shower scale' of 1 to 5, I'm rating about a 5.2 about now.

TaTa

Cupcakes

So um hi.
I had a cupcake for breakfast this morning.
I don't even want to weigh myself after the last few days I've had at family reunions and the food. Oh God. All the food.

I feel like a fraud who shouldn't even be contributing to this blog, as I clearly am not even trying. ;(

I'm sorry. I love you all.
I promise that today (post-cupcake) is a brand new day and I am filled with a renewed sense of conviction.

I WILL beat this! I will come up with some sort of exercise regime. And I will attempt to at least try to eat a carrot or something before I resort to cupcakes!

xo