Le Sigh

I went out with some friends for lunch yesterday.

To a bakery.

I bought a bunch of things and ate little bites out of them.
3 different types of brownies, a cinnamon bun and a honey cake.

I ate more little bites after dinner last night.

I went to bed and suddenly realized what I had done.

I got out of bed and threw out the box.

I'm So Anal I Need to Plan More...

So when I quit my job, I made a plan to find a new one.
I had outlines and tasks and goals.
I followed them religiously - because I have to make money to live right?

So apparently what I need to do for this is along the same lines- make a plan.

So my dears- here is what I intend to do:

1. I am considering this: http://www.weightwatchers.ca/index.aspx
It's Weight watchers online. No meetings or crap like that. Just some guidelines for me to follow.

2. I am looking for a dance class and/or pool to go and do laps. I hate the gym. I've joined and quit many times before. But I would cheerfully swim laps for hours. I have to enjoy myself in order to do anything.

3. My Carmen Electra DVD? Yeah, Carmen annoys me - so I ignore it. But I am trying like hell to walk more. And I successfully managed to get past going out and getting Dairy Queen today. Go me!

I think once I have a more concrete plan set out in my mind- other than "yeah, I should do healthier things" in a vague way will generate maybe a few more positive results.

Love you!
xoxo

Cupcakes

So um hi.
I had a cupcake for breakfast this morning.
I don't even want to weigh myself after the last few days I've had at family reunions and the food. Oh God. All the food.

I feel like a fraud who shouldn't even be contributing to this blog, as I clearly am not even trying. ;(

I'm sorry. I love you all.
I promise that today (post-cupcake) is a brand new day and I am filled with a renewed sense of conviction.

I WILL beat this! I will come up with some sort of exercise regime. And I will attempt to at least try to eat a carrot or something before I resort to cupcakes!

xo

I'm Gonna Miss M & M's

Ok, the thought of going and weighing myself for this causes me physical pain- which I suppose is why I'm here right?

*Pause while I run to the bathroom scale*

Gawd- 223 lbs. Weird, I'm in a metric country (Canada) but I don't know how to convert that. Anyhow that was crazy depressing.

I think my journey, while wanting to lose weight, is to also love myself regardless of whether or not I ever lose an ounce.

Although the fact that I was handed a slice of chocolate cheesecake when I got to work today - regardless of how nice it was to be thought of, won't really be helping me.

So: I am now bussing to work, which involves a lot more walking to and from bus stops. I also work in a HUGE institution now that involves more stairs and long distances to get to other people's offices/departments. So that should help.

AND, I should also fall in love with my workout DVDs again. I cannot promise the gym, as I hate hate hate it there. Makes me feel crappy about myself.

As for food- maybe more home-made meals, fewer M&M's. It's all about baby steps, right?

Thanks for letting me be a part of this group ladies!

Princess of the Universe
xo