Ok. So. Its time to pony up. After my *amazing* weight loss, this is where I stand. Back at square 1. Well, maybe square 2. I'm still a little lighter and have more knowledge than I did when I started this journey.

Weight: 91.3kg
Chest: 106cm
Waist: 91cm
Hips: 119cm
Thigh: 69cm

Sooo...

I have been doing bootcamp for the last 6 weeks. It has been a hell of a lot of fun, but I haven't been taking my diet seriously enough. I know, I know. A treat here, a snack there. I rationalise that 'normal' people can do it, why can't I? Well, I'm not normal. I can't do these things.

I have been measured up all over again. As part of the fitness testing for the bootcamp. I don't have my stats at the moment, but I know my lovely 70cm waist... wasted. I'm 91.3kg as of this afternoon. I've hefted another 20+ kg in the past few months. Bugger me sideways with a red hot poker. That's gotta go.

So. For the next 7 weeks, until I get fitness tested again, here is my basic plan.

Breakfast
Oats & Protein
Museli w/ skim milk
both with fruit and maybe some almonds.
Coffee or green tea.
occasionally - toast with cream cheese and a protein shake

M'tea
Low fat yogurt.
Celery/cucumber/capsicum and ricotta
Fruit

Maximum 3 cafe coffees per week.

Lunch
Tinned tuna/chicken and salad w/beans.
Egg (optional)

Leftovers from dinner,
Thai, no rice, extra veg,
Soup and a bit of bread
Meal replacement shake.

1 free lunch per week.

A'tea
Protein bar or apple

Dinner
Soup and toast
1 burger (home made, low fat) w/ salad,
Thai - extra veg, no rice
1 small pita pizza
Meatballs and steamed veg
Marinated lean meat w/salad/steamed veg
Savoury baked ricotta
Casseroles
Ricotta and meat filo w/ steamed veg
Savoury/chilli mince
Chicken skewers

1 free dinner per week

Snacks
Yogurt w/ protein and berries
Baked ricotta w/ protein and fruit
Fruit
Vita weats w/ tuna OR cream cheese OR low fat cheddar
Boiled egg

Other stuff
No daily limit on chocolate. But not allowed more than 1 block dark chocolate per fortnight. Min 70% cocoa.


I have put all of this info into an excel spreadsheet. And plotted out weekly charts. As I enter each meal/snack, I shade the box with a colour. Pale yellow for good. Pale orange for things that aren't bad (i.e. eating a protein bar straight after lunch cuz I'm still hungry. It's not a blow out, but not something I want to do often). Orange for things that are moderately bad. Red for diet fails (cookies), and Black for the worst of the worst.
The idea being that I will be able to look at it visually, without having to read it, and see exactly how my week has been. And the week runs from Monday to Sunday. That way, I can look at it on Sunday and be more motivated to stick to diet while I don't have a work routine to keep me otherwise occupied.

Hello, is this thing on?

Ok. So. Its been a while. Last we heard, I was super skinny, super sexy, and a fucking champion. And now...

I'm fat again.

Fuck.







I had a bit of a mental meltdown. Ate everything in sight. Lost my gym mojo. Well, really, who could blame me. I have all but stopped the gym at the moment. I am now doing outdoor bootcamp 3 nights a week. And loving it. I have just finished a six week course. New fitness testing Monday.

On Monday I'm going to publish my weight and measurement. And a new diet plan I've written up. I need this blog to lose weight successfully.

Slowly, ever slowly, I'm getting there...

Just ducked over to Mum's to weigh myself for the first time this year. When I'd jumped on the scales just after Christmas (and all its indulgences) I was happy to see that I had managed to remain at 97kg... hell, I was relieved.

I really need to remember to take my glasses over with me when I do this... cos I can never see the damn numbers clearly. I had to ask mum to tell me what the little red pointer was pointing at because I couldn't be sure. But what do you know... it really was pointing at a new set of numbers.

95!

That's right. Two more kilos have been thrown away. They will not be returning. I will not be looking for them. I don't want them back. I'm two more kilos closer to the end of year goal of 80 by Christmas. My size 16 jeans need a belt to stop them sliding down my arse. All I need now is a job so I can afford to pay for the new clothes I'm going to need, all my netball games and a return to the gym.

:o)

Hey folks... it's the other one. ;o)

Okay - so Steph is officially AWEsome!

She is, without a doubt, a major inspiration for me and the whole "get fit, get healthy, get rid of the fat (both on my body and in my head)" lifestyle change that I've been on for a while now.

I'm doing things a bit slower than Steph - partly because I'm flat broke and can't get to a gym. But... the four teams I now belong to for netball are definitely working out for me.

I weighed myself at the doctor's the other week.
I'm 97kgs.
Yep.
I've hit my goal for the year with a month to spare. I am under 100kgs BEFORE Christmas!
I could not tell you the last time I was under 100kg.

So, since September last year I have gotten rid of 20.2kgs.

And that means that since my 30th b'day, when I estimate I was rocking out at the 140kg mark, I have gotten rid of 43kgs.
I have friends who weigh that much.
I've taught kids who weigh that much.
How the hell was I carrying that much extra weight around, for god's sake?

So now I am going to keep plodding away, doing my thing, and aim for the final goal of 80kgs by Christmas 2010. But I'll be honest - if I'm only 90kgs by then, I won't mind. Cos I'm feeling pretty good about myself these days. I can look at my reflection and not hate it. And part of that may be due to the fact that a guy, a real honest to goodness, breathing guy, has seen me naked... and liked it (but that's another story with some bitter sadness attached). But it's also due to the fact that I'm starting to like myself. Which makes a really nice change.

Later.

Challenge: Overview and end.

So I started 12 weeks ago today. Jeez. Can't beleive that was 12 weeks ago. The past 2 weeks have been ok. Better than the weeks before. I kind of adjusted to not having carbs in my diet. Though I was more easily fatigued during training and couldn't really go as hard as I was before. Simon was endlessly patient. I swear that man is a saint.

I killed myself for the last 2 weeks. Cut carbs down to nothing. Trained 8 days solid, including one day sick as a dog, had 1 day off, and trained the last 7. All the way through. In the last 2 weeks I was running less, but rowing harder and getting out of the seat on the bike, up to maximum levels the machine gave me.

I went shopping for dresses 2 weeks prior to the end of the challenge. Found myself a cute little dress. But the size 12 wouldn't do up. I went back a few days later (after payday) and tried them on again. No change. So I bought the 14. It was a little big around the ribs, but the 12 just.would.not.do.up. The last Thursday I tried it on again, just to see how it looked. And it gaped. Massively. About 2 inches away from my back. So I bloody had to go change the dress again.

Last night was tough. I wasn't allowed any liquids. Not even water, after 5pm. Which kinda sucked, cuz I train at 6.30. So I had half a bottle of wate in my cardio routine prior to training. I was taking mouthfuls. When I got to training, Simon said no. Not even mouthfuls. So I had to tip out my lovely, full half bottle of water. Dinner was a tin of tuna, lettuce, onion, and celery. And not much of that. I was flip flopping between feeling nauseous from excitement, and nauseous from nerves. Or maybe I was just nauseous from extreme hunger and thirst. Who knows? After training, they were playing really trippy music videos. It was a completely surreal experience.

The last session was a biggie. We did boxing, absolutely smashed the cardio. I did my own full set, followed by arms and abs on the machine. I was exhausted, but kind of zen. What was done was done. Nothing more I could do. But the nerves still jangled, so I cleaned. The floors, my sheets, dusted the cobwebs, cleaned the light fittings. Yes. The light fittings. I organised my cupboards too. Took all of my flours, sugars etc, and put them into containers. Seriously. I went OCD. I was still up at 1am doing my nails.

This morning the plan was to get up early, straight to the gym (not hard, couldn't have anything to eat or drink) and into the sauna. Had my weight and measurements. I was supposed to head out to breakfast with Simon, but the girls doing the measurements were running late, and he had a client. Anyway. I had museli with banana, strawberry, yoghurt and a drizzle of honey. With a chocolate milkshake with an extra shot of coffee. And it was DIVINE!!! But totally too much for my poor shrivelled stomach. So I sat in the restaurant and rang people until I felt a little better. Then I went grocery shopping and bought sugar, butter, avocado, banana and yoghurt. I'm going to bake bikkies tomorrow. And take them to work to feed the guys there to apologise for being a shit over the past few weeks. And I got soo many compliments wjile I was out. My dress, my shoes, my eyes. I even got told that I should go to the beach and wear a bikini. Thanks, but I'll pass on the bikini.

The measurements themselves were quite good. As soon as we'd done the weight and cm measurements (and while they were doing skin fold testing) I pulled out my phone and ran through the numbers. When I figured out how much I'd lost, I sort of paused a moment, and said it aloud softly. And one of the girls there started crying. I had to ask if it was me or something else she was crying at. Lol. It hit me when I rang mum though. I knew I'd end up crying. At breakfast, when I was talking to Dad. I told him that he was my inspiration halfway through. And I did tear up a little bit.

So. In pictures, we have my results



August 1st. Just before the challenge started. Weighing 82.9kg. I started the challenge at 82.3kg.
Chest: 101 cm
Waist: 83 cm
Hips: 108 cm
Thigh: 64cm
Arm: 32cm

Approximately a size 16














This one is from September 27. Just after the first weigh in.

76.5kg.
Chest: 96.5cm
Waist: 79cm
Hips: 105cm
Thigh: 62cm
Arm: 32cm
Loss of muscle, as well as fat.

approximately size 14














This is me today.
68.8kg.

Chest: 92 cm (-9)
Waist: 73 cm (-10)
Hips: 100 cm (-8)
Thigh: 59 cm (-5)
Arm: 29 cm (-3)

Size 10-12.












I was buying shirts in smalls and extra smalls for 4-6 weeks. Jeans in size 12, and belting them up. But I still saw myself as a size 16 in my head. When I took that last photo, I fell to my knees and started crying. It really hit that that is how I look.

Weekly wrap up

So I guess its time to do the wrap up of the week. Well. Frankly. I don't react well to not having carbs. There were more than a few tanties. One of which involved me literally ripping shit out of my locker and throwing it across the change room at work. Let me tell the backstory. We're short staffed at work. Its normally me and my bestie who pick up little jobs around the place. But she's in Japan. Lucky bitch, she gets to miss out on me adjusting to the diet.

And so everybody has been leaving the little jobs for me. Well, on Thursday I walked out of work at the very end of the day, 10 days on less than 70g carbs a day, 8 days solid training, exhausted. And found that three people had walked straight out the door, dropped their shit into the overflowing bins and kept going. When I got out of the facility, there were people sitting on computers, without packing up for the day. There were trolleys to clean up, and a whole area to shut down and lock up.

Shit did hit-eth the fan. I shut down and raged, and everybody else left early.

Good news is, I sent out an email the next day, requesting that they no longer leave the little bits to me. And was chatting to my supervisor later, and she was saying that she was feeling like all of these bits were being left for us too, and it was frustrating her.

***
I have had a good chat with one of the bosses at work. They are well aware of what I'm going through. And that I wasn't sleeping well. I was drinking too much (to fill the gaps) at the end of the day, and having to get up 2 or 3 times in the middle of the night to pee, so I was exhausted. They are well aware that this is only for another few weeks.

***
It hasn't all been that bad though. I've lost my treamill mojo. So I'm doing other cardio. Extra time on the cross trainer and I'm now standing up on the bike. And I've started cranking the incline and doing short jogs on that.

Training Wednesday night nearly killed me. I was uncooperative. I was tired. I needed a break. I did my best. And that's all Simon can ask of me.

Friday was much better. Trained well. The rest really helped. I did the alternate cardio set today, and should be back to full gym mojo soon.

I'm aiming to take next Friday off, and then train all the way from Saturday to Friday night. Measurements first thing Saturday morning. We're all prepped out and planned for it.

***
I am somewhat enjoying the diet. I have the most awesome salads for lunch. Dressed with balsamic vinegar and cracked pepper. And tuna. Of course.

Ricotta is not so bad. Really. If I find it boring I can crack some pepper into it. But I'm enjoying it plain.

Strangely, I'm not tempted by foods. A friend of mine was eating a sammich in front of me the other day, and I was quizzing her on how the bread was. And there were varous slices sitting there for everybody's consumption. I had a good look, but wasn't really interested.

I do chew pretty much all day though. Chewing gum is a lifesaver. And I'm in a much better mood when I have it.

***
I was dancing around in front of my mirror (in jeans) the other day, and discovered my abs are visible! I gave them a good grope, and they're freaking ROCK HARD. But they're still covered by squish. *sigh*

***

I am less than 2 weeks out from finishing. Its just dogged tenacity that keeps me going some days. I have started a blister pack of vitamins we got when we started. There are 15 vitamins in it, and its a visual reminder on my bedside table of how far away I am from finishing.

I have booked in for my spray tan too. 3 days out from last photos.

And I went shopping on Thursday night. Checked out some dresses and underwear. I can't wait for payday. I have picked out my 'reward' dress, that I'll wear on my last day. And another pretty everyday dress. And. Most importantly, I have found a good bra that supports and smooths the abdominal area too. Well, it makes it a bit firmer at least.

***
I am looking forward to the end of the challenge though. Its been a long journey and the past 2 weeks have been particularly tough. I don't care if I win or not. I was aiming for that to begin with. But to be honest, I'm so happy with how far I've come now. All I've learnt, all I've done, all I've lost. I'm a winner already. And I just want to have my freaking yoghurt back. I'm looking forward to the small things. I'm going for breakfast with Simon straight after measurements. And I want (though this can easily change) muesli, with yoghurt, banana, strawberries and honey. And a milkshake. Chocolate with a shot of coffee.

The Monday after we're going out to lunch at work. To celebrate the end of the bitchfest that I've been. And a mates b'day. And the return of my bestie. We're gonna share a jaeger (mushroom sauce) schinitzel, with rosti and crumbed mushrooms.

And on that same Monday I'm going to see New Moon in Gold Class. And me and my other bestie will have sushi beforehand, and scones in the cinema.

I don't want to go all out and binge when this is over. I just want the simple, plain things. I want my coffee, scones and yoghurt back. And I want to bake. I miss that.

***

Todays weight 73.5. Not really much of a loss. But going on previous measurements (of putting on 1kg muscle a week) its not really that bad. My jeans are definitely looser than they were. But my 'wish' tops are still tight. I'm pretty muscly through the shoulders.